I have been a member of an online mother’s group since just after I got pregnant with my first child. Over the years we have had many changes; many have gone separate ways, others have been forcibly removed, trolls have been discovered and banned but there is a core group of ladies that have stuck it out and are still very active. When you spend so much time sharing all the details of your life you form relationships, make good friends and you come to care about these people some of whom you have never met. I met my best friend through this forum, she is just like me in so many ways, but my complete opposite in many others, our paths came close to crossing in life on many occasions yet we were an ocean apart when we finally met.

Over the past year the dynamic of this board has changed a lot and there are not as many active posters as there once were. I am the first to admit that I am not a very active poster. I would average around 10-15 posts a week but this in no way means that I do not still care about these ladies that I have formed relationships with; sometimes life just gets in the way.  I was once a very active poster on the boards but my life is not the same as it was three years ago. When I started my journey into motherhood with these ladies I was living in Australia; I have moved countries and lived in five cities since then. Just because I am not the active member I once was does not mean that I do not care about these ladies. The times I do visit the forum I try and skip over all the fluff posts and go straight to the ones that are more personal. I miss a lot but I am not willing to let my business and my family life suffer to make more time to go on there. When it comes down to it my family is always going to come first.

There have recently been some ladies that are unhappy with the lack of posts and the number of women that have left completely or gone missing in action. I’m not one of the ones in question but I do understand those that have gone their separate ways. Three years is a long time to commit to a public forum. There are many that have moved, separated from their partners, had more babies, their husbands have been deployed or they have started new jobs. When we started this journey together we had no way to know exactly what our future would hold three years on. I personally think it is great that there are so many still around. I don’t feel its right to be upset because some do not come around anymore, until you have walked in their shoes you don’t know the real reasons behind their absence.

I know that I am on the verge of being one of the members that slowly fades away into the background and eventually disappears. I don’t know what obstacles life on the road is going to throw at me and I don’t think it is fair to those that are still strongly committed to the board for me just to pop in here and there. It’s been a great ride, I have met some amazing women but unfortunately sometimes good things must come to an end. I’m going to enjoy the time I have left and hope that some of them continue to keep in contact by email and through the blogs. I hate to think that some of these relationships might die just because I am no longer in a position to post.

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